Meditation Is Not What I Thought

This week in my blog I would like to share a significant personal discovery during my month-long meditation retreat last October. A subtle shift in awareness that changed how I experience the world.

I have been studying healing and the nature of consciousness for quite a while now, currently reading books on nonduality and the work of Rupert Spira, Eckhart Tolle, and Frans Stiene. Also listening to and enjoying the awakening consciousness stories of ordinary people from Buddha at the Gas Pump.

Last week I wrote about my healing practice and what I experience in the healing space during a session. I described the dynamic, ever-evolving, morphing healing state I am in five days a week. My question for the last few years has been: What is the relationship of this healing space to Non-Duality, the True Self, Divine Presence? 

Many teachers and healers I greatly respect have spoken of compassion as a quality of this healing space and this higher consciousness. This is where I felt like I was missing the boat. I was not feeling compassion in the healing space. Here is how I finally defined it for myself in a past post:

Compassion is the ability to hold everything in the moment, in the divine presence of All That Is. It is an energetic healing state.

This compassion is not motivated by desire or ambition to heal others. In fact, it had begun to seem like the more powerful and effective the healing space was becoming for my clients, the less emotionally connected I was to the whole healing process. I do not feel any emotions or desires in the actual healing space. I also had periods when I felt so much less ambitious in my everyday life, which was very uncomfortable. Just being in the world was now requiring a new method of navigation that was confusing. There was much less ego. I was finding this stressful.

So, as I began my month-long meditation retreat in October, my intention was to focus on this question.

There was a Supreme Court issue at the beginning of October that had greatly upset me, so when I sat to meditate my emotional body was quite activated. As I began to meditate, I could feel my energy spiraling and unwinding about five feet all around me, with waves of heat and nausea periodically passing through my physical body. It was very similar to the healing space I held for others, except I was feeling my own energy moving. I would like to note here that my clients very, very rarely feel nauseous.

For the first ten days, it was extremely challenging and physically uncomfortable to sit and meditate. I just wanted to run, to move, to get a drink of water, or find my cell phone and text for help.

Then I began to notice a space underneath all the movement. A quiet space. I focused on that, and it expanded over time and became more encompassing, eventually surrounding everything including my energy field and my body. My nervous system and biofield started settling down, and I experienced the heat and waves of nausea less and less.

This new space was utterly still, like a flat void. I could not even describe it as peaceful, certainly not compassionate, yet there was definitely no stress. It was empty.

After 10 days of emotional turmoil arising and releasing this was a welcome shift. I focused on this space the rest of my meditation retreat, and just let all my questions about healing states and consciousness go.

I have now been back from my retreat and working for over twenty days. The healing space and my healing practice appear to be pretty much the same; different every session and still wonderfully effective for each client.

The prevailing thought running through my brain is that there is nothing to seek anymore. Everything is right here, in this stillness, in this emptiness. My intention now is to stay connected to it.

What was the most surprising, and what I most wanted to share with you, is that even though this deeper space is still experienced as emotionally empty, I returned from the retreat feeling more compassion, joy, love, and clarity in all aspects of my life. I can listen to the daily news with much less resistance. The more I connect with this space the more calmer and more peaceful I am.

You would think that connecting with a state of consciousness that creates more compassion would be experienced as compassionate, yet that’s not how it works for me. The experience of emptiness appears to create more compassion.

Meditation is not what I thought.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork Monday through Friday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Back From The Retreat

 

Have you ever stepped out of your life for a whole month?

Preparing to leave my work and life for such an extended period felt so crazy, so extravagant, and even a bit selfish before I left. Now I realize this was one of the smartest and even the most practical things I have ever done.

How did this come about?

I have been studying consciousness and spirituality in one form or another my whole life. I have read everything I could get my hands on about Enlightenment, Satori, Oneness, Presence, the True Self and Nonduality. My healing practice had made it possible for me to study with many incredibly brilliant healing masters and teachers over the last twenty years. Up until the last month, I was a dedicated spiritual seeker. 😉

Around 2014, after a few “not so great” experiences, I found a meditation teacher that was accessible, kind and moved through the world with incredible grace. Supriya Whittemore is a Universal Ishaya teacher who creates month-long meditation retreats wholly devoted to the direct experience with our Higher Self. That is how I ended up on a month-long Ascension retreat in North Fork, California, meditating for hours at a time in a beautiful and nurturing space.

There is a lot less seeking now, and a lot more just being.

If you have been reading this blog, you also know I am also a big fan of community. For me, a supportive community is vital when you are going through significant consciousness shifts. Being in a community environment with others as deeply committed to their meditation practice was such a gift.

It is impossible to write about all that happened last month. It’s like trying to describe an elephant one inch at a time.

In this first blog post, I will say that the first couple of weeks were incredibly challenging, sparked by the political situation at the beginning of the month. I was completely emotionally overwhelmed just as I was settling in for a month of deep transformational inner work.

How perfect.

To sit through all the emotions that flared up and let my nervous system rebalance and relax was intense. The Ishayas’ Ascension Meditation practice is very easy, simple and natural, but for me letting go of “doing” took a while. The second two weeks were flat-out amazing. The process is very different for everyone.

“there is no cookie-cutter enlightenment”

– Supriya Whittemore

I can’t say that I am fully awake yet, 🙂 but what I can say is that I have come back to my life and my healing practice deeply rested and connected to a simple sweetness of being.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in Oakland, California and is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork sessions Monday through Friday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Prayer and Water

As a healer, I have learned that there are three substances that hold energy well: water, silk, and cotton. After I watched the video above, I was so moved, and much more aware of how connected we are on such a tangible, practical level. I started looking for more water videos and the two below reconfirmed this oneness. Enjoy.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork Monday through Friday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Transmuting Energy and Healing Anxiety

I would like to share a comment made by my friend and Healing Touch Practitioner Vivian Drewis about last week’s post:  Healing: Befriending All Our Emotions.

 

“What a perceptive account of a session. Amazing awareness! I have worked with emotions for many years now doing my own personal work and assisting hundreds of others. I incorrectly thought that we simply release the emotions (actually created in our bodies in very particular organs and glands) once we can identify them and “own” them. What I now understand is that these frequencies do not just disappear. Energy can never be destroyed…as per Einstein. What actually happens is that the negatively charged frequencies are transmuted back to benign elements that we utilize again in our bodies. What a different view on it. It’s like welcoming your child back home.”

I have been thinking about Vivian’s comment all week. This quote describes exactly what I “feel” kinesthetically happening in my client’s energy field during my healing sessions. After they relax and stop resisting emotions such as anxiety and fear, there is almost always the sensation of more life-force energy, or a higher frequency of energy, in their biofield. I thought this was because the contracted, denser energy had released.  Maybe this higher vibrational energy is their emotions being  “transmuted back into benign elements.”

I find this incredibly exciting. It may not change my healing sessions in any way, but it just makes sense. I love it when things make sense. I also like the idea that when I can finally relax and create space around my emotions, it increases my life-force energy.

Thank you, Vivian!

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork Monday through Friday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Back From The Retreat

 

One thing I have learned from this retreat: If I want to step deeper into my life and my work, I have to step out of it for a while.

I have been back from my retreat for five days. This was the most extended amount of time I have taken off from my healing practice in twenty-two years. I meditated for hours at a time, several times a day and I only looked at my phone when I absolutely had to. No Facebook, Instagram, emails, news, calls or texts. I am still amazed at how profoundly clear and relaxed I still feel.

Meditation was the focus of this retreat, with group meals and engaging conversations that created an intimate, supportive community. If you have read my blog, you know that I am a big fan of community, and I find it necessary for doing long-term spiritual and energetic work.

After sleeping for the first three days, I suddenly needed much less sleep. For two nights in a row, I only managed to sleep two hours each night and never felt tired the next day. That was wild. I had heard when you meditate for long periods of time you don’t need as much sleep, but I didn’t believe it until I experienced it. My overall energy level now is significantly higher than before the retreat. Since I am meditating daily for longer periods of time, I hope this continues.

My meditation teacher is  Supriya Whittemore, and she teaches The Ishayas Ascension. Supriya is a gift to this planet. Creating meditations retreats like this one is a  profound service to the world. This is from her website:

“We design our spiritual retreats from the intentions of our participants. What we do is provide the environment for you to recognize and nurture the experience of God within you. We implement a state shift that opens up for the next six months following the retreat. This is achieved by design, the community group dynamic, the practices, and listening for the Life that presents Itself when we discover and navigate together.”

“Listening for the Life that presents Itself”   I love that line.

Berkeley also has a fantastic time and experienced snow for the first time. He also got a lot of meditation time in. 🙂

Berkeley Contemplates Snow

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Meditation Retreat

My dog Berkeley and I are leaving today for a meditation retreat, so there will not be any posts on this blog until March 23rd. While I am very, very, VERY excited about this extraordinary opportunity to dive into my meditation practice so deeply, I feel a bit nervous. It’s the same sensation I sometimes become aware of right before I am about to breathe in a Breathwork session. 🙂

Berkeley Doing Yoga

Have a wonderful few weeks, and I will report back!

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork after March 20th, 2018, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

 

Healing, Self-Tuning and the Ocarina, Part Two

I have learned that when I become obsessed with something that seems totally crazy and appears out of my current realm of practical application, not to question it. I now realize these compulsions are my higher guidance in high gear. I had no idea why ocarinas became such a passion for me a few years ago; I just knew I had to explore everything about them.

Then I met Alan Tower, Stonewhistle maker Hans Houkes, and discovered the Huaca and Innate. Below is a video of Hans and his breathtaking ceramic instruments:

The Huaca (wah-ka) was originally developed by ceramist Sharon Rowell in the 1980’s here in the Bay Area. Initially, she was trying to imitate the sound of the San Francisco Bay foghorns, and by the end of her instrument making career, she was building beautiful multiple-chambered ocarinas – or Huacas.

Alan Tower, one of the founders of The Resonance Center and a professional Huacaplayer, brought Hans in contact with Sharon Rowell’s Huacas and together Hans and Alan have developed the Innato or Innate. Below is my Innate that just arrived last Wednesday.

The word “Innato” means inborn, unlearned. It’s inside all of us. This instrument connects sonically to our pure innateness, and is playable by anyone with hands and ears. In just a few minutes it gives an experience that shifts or opens your perception of the moment.

– from Hans Houkes website

The Innate is where my higher guidance was leading me. When I play this sacred meditation object, I can feel the vibration all through my body, and then my body dissolves into the sensation. The world disappears. And then there is just the sound. 

For more information on the Innate click here: http://www.stonewhistle.com/innato/

If you are interested in learning how to purchase the Innate in the United States, contact Alan Tower at alan@TheResonanceCenter.com.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork sessions Monday through Thursday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Healing, Self-Tuning and the Ocarina, Part One

Sometimes in a healing session, I become aware of my client’s energy field as a collection of frequencies that are subtly harmonizing. Every time I change my hand position, I sense a different tone. It’s like I am feeling sound. My clients are tuning themselves in the sacred space.

Outside of my healing room, I have become fascinated with the medicinal effects of sound on my energy field and the ocarina. I’ve been playing the ocarina as a meditation, exploring how specific tones affect me.

After sitting and silently meditating, I often just play one long, slow note on an ocarina that sounds good to me. I then relax into the stillness afterward. I notice if I feel anything different in my physical body, if I feel differently emotionally, or if the space around me has shifted. It has been an incredible practice.

Because the ocarina is a wind instrument, my breath becomes a connection between the inside of my body and the outside. Playing the ocarina has helped me become more sensitive to energy in my healing practice. It also feels so good. It’s so soothing and grounding.

My obsession with the ocarina started at the end of 2014. Before that, I had never even heard of an ocarina. I started watching every ocarina YouTube video, researching all the ocarina maker’s websites and buying them online. I returned quite a few. I can’t tell you how many times I wished there was an ocarina store in the Bay area.

This ocarina, the Seedpod Ocarina Tenor G was the first ocarina I found that made my body resonate with the first breath. It is so easy to play. If you are not a musician and are interested in meditating with a wind instrument, this is the ocarina I recommend. Of course, you can also use a native American flute. The Seedpod Tenor G cost under $50.00. You can get it through Songbird Ocarina in Los Angeles, a fantastic company.

The next ocarina I fell in love with was also from Songbird Ocarina: The Seedpod Ocarina Bass C. Of all the ocarinas I have, this is the one I play the most often. For me, bass tones create even more healing vibration in my body.

I am a full-time healer, and I am in an altered or healing state about fifteen to twenty hours a week. The only way I can maintain my healing practice at this rate is to stay grounded. My daily meditation and ocarina playing have been the most efficient way for me to do this.

The best thing about self-tuning with the ocarina is that it feels amazing. Try it.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork sessions Monday through Thursday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Kathleen Prasad’s “Healing Power In A Radiation Suite”

I would like to share Kathleen Prasad’s story about her cancer treatment and metta practice.  This article is a great teaching that I have read many times. This is the kind of story that takes me deeper into my daily meditation practice and once again reveals how every one of us makes a difference in this world. Enjoy.

“I realized that no matter what was happening to my body, I could find peace, love, joy and strength in this moment. No matter what, in this moment my heart was perfect and shining bright. The more I could see this within myself, the more I could see it in others, and the brighter I could feel my metta practice shining.

– Kathleen Prasad

Check out more of Kathleen’s writings and website here – Animal Reiki Source.

Thank you, Kathleen.

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork sessions Monday through Thursday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632

Beautiful Healing Music On YouTube

There are YouTube music videos that are excellent for healing, meditation or creating sacred space.

Check out music channels such as Meditative Mind (great chanting videos) and Best Relaxing Music. You can find the exact music that resonates with your mood for the day. Sometimes there are ads at the beginning, so listen to them before using them in your sessions. Enjoy!

Jeri Lawson has a full-time healing practice in the Temescal Area of Oakland, California. She is available for Healing Touch, Reiki, Distance Healings and Clarity Breathwork sessions Monday through Friday, 10 am to 6 pm. 510-601-9632